I think we can all be honest and admit that at this point, scrolling Instagram is an exercise in masochism. You know it, I know it, Mark Zuckerberg knows it. There’s room for everything in this life, though, so I do occasionally engage in moderated self-harm by tapping the little icon and discovering what fresh insecurities await me. Why not?
Normally, though, social media is a familiar sort of hell. Comforting, almost, the way my ever-diminishing expectations are met every time. So imagine my surprise when, some time over the last month, I noticed a rapid influx in ads in between posts, or worse (?), in between stories, all of them seeming to suggest: hey, wouldn’t it be fun, wouldn’t it be chill, wouldn’t it be very Hot Girl of me, to try weight loss pills? This is not your mother’s Ozempic, the ads appear to be telling me. Sure, it may be the same drug, but lucky for you, we are past the point of injections. You, the cheery adverts announce, get to consume tablets instead of jabbing yourself in the belly, bruising your soft skin in your attempt to be the best1 version of yourself. You are welcome, I almost expect them to tell me, all smug faces smiling tautly and beigely at me from a muted conference room.
I mean, at least the 80s and 90s girlies taking meth pills to lose weight got to do aerobics and wear insane outfits—what do I have, pilates? Mushroom gummies? Hot girl walks??? Not enough pizzazz in the world to be entertaining these unprecedented times.
Truly, from the bottom of my heart, I’m not even here to wade into Ozempic/semaglutide/GLP-1 discourse. Not really. Not because I don’t have an opinion, because to my detriment all I fucking have are opinions, but I am also aware that I have never been fat and there are nuances that I’m lacking. Insensitivities, etc. And sure—I can, on occasion, exhibit some self-awareness.
But I do think it is psychotic that weight loss drugs, much less weight loss drugs not approved by the FDA or (as far as I’m aware) any other country’s food and drug regulatory body, are being advertised willy-nilly on social media.2 Like, what happened to Excedrin ads, with the migraine girlies dramatically feeling their foreheads and shaking their heads?? At least they had to quickly list all the side effects at the end.
I may not have experienced fatness, but like most girls and women you know,
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