Is the Roys' style on Succession quiet luxury? Is the new Zara collection an ode to quiet luxury? Was King Charles' coronation seeped in quiet luxury? Is quiet luxury the answer to consumerism? Is anyone listening to themselves? Because I am, and everyone sounds deranged. I have stayed silent for far too long, but I have reached a breaking point. We need to stop talking about quiet luxury as a trend. Please. We have the power to do so.
The recent obsession with the quiet luxury thinkpieces (yes, I can and do grasp the irony of me writing one, this is me saying it so you don't have to) begs the question, if someone is speaking in a language I don’t understand to somebody else, are they being quiet? And we don't need further proof that Covid has rotted our brains, because the answer from so many people seems to be a very wrong, unquiet yes.
From Vogue in early March, this semi-definition of quiet luxury:
Thanks to the pared-back stylings of brands such as The Row, Bottega Veneta, and Khaite, we have seen a return to a more low-key approach to luxury—“quiet luxury” as some people are calling it, or non-trend trends. It’s less austere than minimalism but more polished than “normcore.”
I'm sorry, but I can't even begin to explain how silly this is. I'll try, though.

As background, I am obligated to inform you that the way in which people consume luxury, and — nearly as important a question — for whom they consume luxury, has always captivated me (for reasons unknown and, to be honest, into which I'd prefer not to delve). I am almost tempted to share the Google Doc from my college sophomore year independent project, but, to minimize our collective embarrassment, I'll just provide a short excerpt from the introduction, after which we'll all delight in my improvement with the written word:
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