if i had to find out about kick kennedy*, so do you

*and her alleged bennifer connection

I really didn't mean to have two August newsletters dedicated to a single family, but we're living through a time where a new Kennedy seems to pop out once a month saying the most batshit thing you've ever heard in your entire life, and I may not be a New England girl, but I am not immune to that. I'm just not! I feel insane 90% of the time and to see allegedly functioning members of society stray significantly farther from reality than I do on any given day is a balm to my mental health. 

So let's hear it for Kick Kennedy, eldest daughter of RFK, Jr., man who recently suspended his presidential campaign and fascinatingly, days later, filed to be on Kentucky's election ballot. Forget Ohio, forget Pennsylvania, don't even think about Wisconsin: I have always said that the real battleground state is the Commonwealth of Kentucky. It's nice that a candidate finally gets it.  

It is important to me that you know that up until approximately four days ago, I had never heard of Kick, née Kathleen Alexandra, and that it is only through the collective despair of this, our second Bennifer split of the 21st century, that I found out she existed. When God closes a door, he opens a window and lets out a Kennedy.