i hate fifa but i love the world cup

(so much)

There are many things I’m conflicted about. The way I need alone time but start feeling literally ill the second I spend too long without being in another’s actual physical presence. How I enjoy philosophy but not French people.¹ And, for a long time now, how I love the World Cup but hate the organization that runs and profits from it.

I’m sad/happy to tell you that it is June 11 and we are officially mere hours away from the start of the World Cup—shoutout to Mexico and South Africa for kicking us off. Indeed, if FIFA weren’t one of the most corrupt organizations in the world, I would omit the “sad” from the previous sentence, because unfortunately, the summer of football that takes place every four years remains one of my favorite events. I enjoy it more than the Olympics, more than my own birthday, more than Christmas, more than that period of summer when every year we all silently agree to avoid labor for several weeks.

This man. The bane of my existence. (Photograph: Henry Romero/Reuters)

But that little Zurich-headquartered self-governing and self-regulating body run by literal clown Gianni Infantino insists on rendering me and millions² of others fools. Embarrassing. Nevertheless, we persist. We probably shouldn’t, like there comes a point when persistence is both futile and a mistake, but here we are. Persisting anyway. Like idiots.

The 2006 World Cup is the first one I really remember watching; we were visiting Uruguay for the summer and watched most matches from my grandparents’ living room. Uruguay hadn’t qualified but Italy, where we’d lived a few years prior, had, which meant that we watched the final with bated breath, trying not to cheer too loudly so as not to antagonize my grandfather, who’d attended French school his whole life and was the kind of francophile that would³ drive adult Clara up the wall.⁴

For 20 years, then, I’ve been pausing my life for four-six weeks every four years; for at least half of that time, I’ve been doing so begrudgingly and guiltily, knowing that anything that monetarily benefits FIFA should not receive this much of my attention. I mean:

And that doesn’t take into account the long list of issues bedeviling the current iteration of the Cup, such as:

• Gianni Infantino: Fifa president accused of breaking rules after giving Donald Trump peace prize - BBC Sport

• Infantino’s Yearslong Effort to Woo Trump for the World Cup - The New York Times⁵

• World Cup 2026 visa chaos: from referee Omar Artan to Iranian officials – who is affected? | World Cup 2026 | The Guardian

• 2026 World Cup tickets: FIFA confirms use of dynamic pricing - ESPN

If you want to read a comprehensive survey of 2026 World Cup controversies, our beloved Wikipedia does have you covered.

Then there’s also the fact that since at least 2014, I’ve marveled (derogatory) at Alexi Lalas’ ability to delude Americans into thinking he’s at all qualified to comment on and analyze football. His whole career is an ode to mediocrity and it made me angry even before I learned that he searched for his own name on twitter.

2023!!!

But. But but but. I love to stay up late and wake up at ungodly hours to watch teams I know next to nothing about play each other. Like, June 23, Jordan v. Algeria, 11pm EST? I will be there. I will, for the duration of the tournament, become the biggest fan of players and coaches I haven’t even heard of yet. I just know there’s a young breakout star from a country I’ve never once had even a passing thought about just waiting for my five-week unconditional support. And I’m ready! Maybe I’ll become an expert on Uzbek football. We don’t know! The summer’s just getting started!

2010 World Cup … you couldn’t tell me or any Uruguayan nothing. (Photo: Getty Images)

All this and I haven’t even mentioned Uruguay; long-time readers will know it’s where I’m from, and football fans will know it’s our fifth straight time heading to the World Cup. I’m not making any predictions, because it’s pointless and because it really is an honor just to be nominated (see: qualify) but there are unfortunately few things as stupidly pride-inducing as being from a small country and watching your team perform on a global stage. It’s why people root for underdogs. It’s why we were excited when Morocco beat Spain and Portugal in the knockout rounds to reach the semis in 2022 (more on Morocco below).

*

Anyway. Once again it will be a fraught time, balancing the joys of the tournament with the trials and tribulations caused by FIFA and the American government. You’ll find me here writing about it, surely.

*

As a reminder, due to the 48 countries participating (as opposed to the usual 32) there are 12 groups this time around as opposed to the usual 8.

Here are a few groups I’ll be paying particular attention to:

Group C

Brazil

Morocco

Haiti

Scotland

Brazil is certainly the most likely to emerge as leader of Group C, but I’m curious to see how Morocco plays after the nightmare that was the Afcon final. The whole world seemed to be rooting for Morocco when they reached the World Cup semis back in 2022, and for a while it looked like they’d enjoy that support again in 2026, but few people were pleased with how Senegal’s victory was bureaucratically—and, if I may, nonsensically—snatched away months following the Africa Cup of Nations final match. A mess. Lastly: I feel like Haiti got the short end of the stick with this group.

*

Group H

Spain

Cape Verde

Saudi Arabia

Uruguay

Hopefully self-explanatory. Yes, Spain and Uruguay are the favorites to take the top two spots, but I think it’ll be a harder group than people assume—Saudi Arabia, if you’ll recall, beat Argentina 2-1 at the 2022 World Cup group stage. And Spain has underperformed at every World Cup since taking the trophy in 2010: they didn’t get past the group stage in 2014, and were knocked out in the round of 16 by Russia in 2018 and Morocco in 2022. So.

*

Group I

France

Senegal

Iraq

Norway

I refer you back to the Afcon debacle to explain why I will be rooting for Senegal, in addition to the former colonizer versus formerly colonized of it all. That being said, France’s team remains rather strong, coming off a convincing Champions League win for Paris Saint-Germain under which several squad members play … I don’t really see any other team leading the group, but I do think it’ll be a pretty fair fight between the remaining three countries for the runner-up spot. It’ll be a great few matches.

*

Group L

England

Croatia

Panama

Ghana

I don’t think any of them will scroll down this far, but I have more English friends than I used to have so I can’t openly disparage Thomas Tuchel’s squad.⁶

However, I will say I never fail to find the “bring it home” chants funny.⁷ I mean, I appreciate enthusiasm paired with delusion as much as the next girl, but the conviction inevitably elicits a fond little chuckle. And the amount of controversy surrounding the omissions from the 26-man squad … like in no world should I know who Cole Palmer is. Nowhere in my head should reside the notion that “Harry Maguire should probably have been called up, too.” And yet. Here I am. Having my little thoughts about England’s football team. I do think they make it out of the group stage and into quarterfinals, but no further. And you know what? Quiet as it’s kept, this is actually one of the trickiest groups—I predict Ghana or Croatia take the top spot and England the second. Respectfully!

*
Tl;dr: Happy World Cup, everyone. Let’s never forget how awful FIFA is. If you have thoughts, predictions, arguments, opinions: let me know in the comments. This is the main—maybe only—subject I’ll want to talk about for the next five weeks.

---

Thanks for reading! You can find me on instagram. The newsletter is fully supported by readers, so if you often find yourself thinking I enjoyed that and also I happen to have disposable income, please consider sharing the newsletter with a friend and/or becoming a paid subscriber for $6/month or $40/year. If not, honestly, that’s fine, too. I get it.

1. The majority of French people. If you’re reading this, I’m not talking about you! T’inquiète!

2. Billions? Ugh. Probably.

3. And does.

4. I want to be clear here: we were rooting for Italy and also, as an individual, Zidane. Anyone will tell you these are not conflicting positions.

5. Archive link here.

6. I do think Gareth Southgate was unfairly maligned, though.

7. Because mind you, it was Uruguay that won the first World Cup back in 1930, so bring it home where, exactly?